Ahhh, the middle school years. A time of roller-coaster emotions, body changes, and the realization your baby is no longer a baby. It is an exciting, and tough, time.
My daughter is a sixth-grader. Yikes! She loves to cook dinner for the family, work on arts and crafts, and read a bazillion books in a week. She is no longer the little girl playing with Little People, tying Barbie up to the Barbie house for Batman to save, and singing little kids songs like “Wheels on the Bus”.
The fun part of a middle schooler is they are ready to try new “grown-up” things and experience some independence. It is scary as a parent to begin to let go. They don’t need us in the same way they used to so we need to give them some room to try things for themselves. One way to give them some independence is in their academic work.
My daughter is a smart kid and is a pretty self-directed learner so handing the reins over to her, a little isn’t as scary. She does a lot of research and experimentation in her free time. Now, I am giving her more responsibility in her daily work.
Here are some things to consider when giving your middle-schooler more independence.
Find Academic Areas Your Child Can Successfully Take On
Is your child interested in a particular subject? Do they have a good background knowledge to “hook” new knowledge onto? Is the material geared towards a child working on it independently?
Once your child hits middle school, you will find more curriculum that is designed for kids to work on by themselves. This is great! You have to consider, though, if your child can handle that material independently.
I will admit, I made a big mistake with this one. I thought, my daughter could watch the DVD lesson for Latin and then do her workbook exercises. Boy, I was wrong! Even though she had one year of Latin under her belt, it was only Latin vocabulary. The next year was working on grammar, and she eventually got very lost. She didn’t have a strong enough understanding of Latin grammar to help her make sense of the material. Which leads me to my next point.
Check-in Daily with Your Child
Do not assume they are comprehending what they are learning because they are not asking questions.
My daughter thought she needed to figure out Latin conjugations for herself. She didn’t bother to ask for help. I assumed she was doing fine until she took her Latin quiz at the end of the week. I quickly realized my mistake in not checking in daily and reviewing the material after she watched the DVD.
Kids at this age still need guidance to make sure they are learning concepts and truly comprehending the material. There wouldn’t be people in teacher roles if we could pick up a book and master it on our own. Sometimes kids don’t realize they misunderstand a concept until they have discussed it with someone that understands the material better. Isn’t that why we attended lectures in high school and college?
Start Giving Deadlines
As a middle-
We are studying the fifty states right now. Each week I read the information on a state, and my kids do notebook pages. I give them a week to work on it, and they pass it in on Friday. I do not assign a set number of pages to complete each day. I leave that up to them to decide. I do set aside time each day for them to work on their notebook pages and provide reminders that they need to complete it.
I am trying to teach my children proper time management. From time to time they will also learn the consequences of poor time management.
Give Your Middle-schooler Some Choices in His/Her Schedule
I feel this is important so kids can take ownership of their learning. Our children can start figuring out what will work for them. Some kids may be able to work on history twice a week while others may need more time to learn the information and do the work.
My daughter’s science curriculum this year is meant for the students to work more independently. It provides schedule options, too. The week is broken up into a two, three, or five-day a week schedule. I have let my daughter choose how many days she wants to complete her science. So far she is doing it three days a week. If she feels it is not enough time, we can change it to five days a week.
Start Gradually
Do not overwhelm your child with too many things to tackle alone. Take it slow. It can be overwhelming if they are not used to it. Start with a subject they will experience success and build from there. It will better help your kiddo feel confident and willing to take on more.
These tween years are a big transition year. They need to navigate through their changing bodies and desire to be more grown-up. We can best help them through this time by providing opportunities for them to gain the skills needed to work independently and manage their time. These are skills that will be of immense help to them as they move into high school and adulthood.
In what ways have you helped your middle school student become more independent?
Happy Homeschooling!
